Mind Your Manners


The Islam Way article, Quranic Way of Life,(featured under our Web Focus section) outlines the proper adaab Muslims should have according to the Quran, and exhibits how comprehensive the religion of Islam really is.   It's inspirational.  It leaves not one detail out in our lives. The religion of Islam is all encompassing.  We are given guidance in every aspect of our life. This in turn simplifies our life - and leaves us dignified. It reminds me of the hadith narrated by Salman al-Farsi that it was said to him: "Your Prophet teaches you everything, even about excrement." He replied: "Yes. He has forbidden us to face the qiblah at the time of easing or urinating, and cleansing with right hand, and cleansing with less than three stones, or cleansing with dung or bone." [Abu Dawud, Book 1, Number 7]


Manners are a Part of Islam
As Muslims, we are required to refine our persona. By having appropriate adaab, we not only give ourselves a distinguishable demeanor, but properly represent Islam.  Nawas ibn Sam'an reported that the Prophet of Allah, sallalahu alayhi wasalaam, was asked about doing good and evil. He replied, "Doing good is having good manners. Doing evil is what troubles you inside and what you would not like others to know about." (Bukhari's Book of Manners # 296, Muslim, Tirmidhi, Darimi, Abu 'Awanah, Hakim, and Ibn Hibban)

Islam regulates our emotions so that we keep our composure. It encourages us to practice patience and forgiveness, and suppress anger. Islam bestows honor where its due: it decrees it for our mothers and even balances the respect for the youth as well as the elders.  Anas b. Mâlik related that an elderly man approached, wanting an audience with the Prophet, sallalahu alayhi wasalaam, but the people were slow to make room for him.  So the Prophet, sallalahu alayhi wasalaam, said: “Whoever fails to show mercy to our children and honor to our elders is not one of us.” [Sunan al-Tirmidhi, 1919]


A Role Model in Manners
We are fortunate to have the greatest role model, Rasullulah, sallalahu alayhi waslaam, teach us how Muslims really should be.  Allah, subhanahu wa t'ala, revealed in the Quran: "Verily, in the Apostle of Allah you have a good example for everyone who looks forward [with hope and awe] to Allah and the Last Day, and remembers Allah unceasingly." (Al-Azhab:21)

 

It was also narrated by 'Abdullah bin 'Amr that "Allah's Apostle, sallalahu alayhi wasalaam, neither talked in an insulting manner nor did he ever speak evil intentionally. He used to say, 'The most beloved to me amongst you is the one who has the best character and manners.'" (Bukhari, Volume 5, Book 57, Number 104)

 

It is no surprise that even non-Muslims recognize Prophet Muhammad, sallalahu alayhi wasalaam, as such a noble person.

 

"He was the most faithful protector of those he protected, the sweetest and most agreeable in conversation. Those who saw him were suddenly filled with reverence; those who came near him loved him; they who described him would say, "I have never seen his like either before or after." He was of great taciturnity, but when he spoke it was with emphasis and deliberation, and no one could forget what he said..." (Stanley Lane-Poole (1854-1931), British archeologist and orientalist, in Speeches and Table Talk of the Prophet Muhammad, 1893)

 

Virtue of Manners
The esteem of manners is venerable in Islam.  Not only does it give us honorable character, but we reap benefits. 

 

By having good adaab, we obtain the equivalency of the rewards of qiyam.  Abu Huraira, said that the Prophet of Allah, sallalahu alayhi wasalaam, said, "If one has good manners, one may attain the same level of merit as those who spend their nights in prayer." (Bukhari's Book of Manners # 285, Hakim, and Abu Dawud)

 

Having manners also brings us closer to Jannah.  Abu Huraira reported that the Prophet of Allah, sallalahu alayhi wasalaam, said, "And what is most likely to send people to Paradise? Being conscious of Allah and good manners." (Bukhari's Book of Manners # 290, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, and Ahmad)  Therefore, good manners are a means of reaching Paradise, the ultimate desired destiny of each and every Muslim. 

 

May we all strive to perfect ourselves in our manners. Ameen




Straight from the Texts

Quran

"O You who have attained faith! Do not enter houses other than your own unless you have obtained permission and greeted their inmates. This is [enjoined upon you] for your own good, so that you might bear [your mutual rights] in mind." (An-Nour:24)


Hadith

'Abd Allah ibn 'Amr reported that the Prophet of Allah, sallalahu alayhi wasalaam, used very often to pray in the following manner, "O Allah! I ask You for good health, for trust, for self-control, for good manners, and to be satisfied with the divine decree." [Bukhari's Book of Manners #308 and Bayhaqi]

On the Web

LECTURE

Reminder on Manners
Sheikh Shady Assuleiman gives a short talk about the importance of manners in Islam (courtesy of IslamicTube.net)


WEBSITE

Quranic Way of Life
This article lists manners found in the Quran a Muslim should have. (courtesy of IslamWay)


99 Names

Al Kareem
The Generous

Linguistic Origin: Karam - opposite of 'laoom' (blameworthy): noble, generous; Kareem - one who is quick to good: generous, noble, forgiving;


Textual Context: occurs 3 times in the Quran; the Qunra is also kareem; rewards in Paradise are kareem


Implications: Generous, Noble, Forgiving


Take Away: Allah is shy to ignore the supplicant - make frequent dua'a; Never give up hope with Allah - even sins can turn into good deeds; Doors to reward are open: multiplication of good deeds; Strive to be a kareem person in the sight of Allah - not the sight of the people


*Adapted from the class: A Course on Allah's Most Beautiful Names [Houston TX USA]